sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
