my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
