Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
