absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
