I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
