16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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