I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
