i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
