Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
