Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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