So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
