I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
