Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize