I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
