Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
