she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
