Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let's get the cat blown out
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
