so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
