it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
