Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
