Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
