Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
