Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
