I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
