so explain again why im purple
no
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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