I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
