Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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