You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Quick, to the slutcave!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just want to make out with him forever
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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