Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
