life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
