when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
