Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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