guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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