hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
