Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you win again, gameday.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize