I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
