Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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