i permit you to call me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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