batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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