I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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