Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
