i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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