Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
