We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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