think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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