***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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