I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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