i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
