If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
