i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
