Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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