Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
