lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
