Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
