Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
