but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
