she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
