dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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