In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
