You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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